Dear D
dear Dane,
oh, what is there left to say
i guess now it’s down to
second guessing
sending the “happy birthday”
as i enter this gateway
will i make it through
when out of all of who
or what’s my past
i can’t believe it’s been your face
that’s prevented me to pass
it’s just “your eyes don’t see the things I see”
and with that little capacity
you know blaming it
won’t set you free
from that time i hit floor
when you ran for the door
it became a one sided war
and i can’t actually believe
that i ever believed
you would come back to ME
or that you would go to therapy
or that
i would might
get a chance to breathe
WELL, FUCK IT
EVENTUALLY
DEAR DANE,
i feel insane
did you plan for it to go this way?
THIS TIME YOU WON’T BE BEGGED to STAY
for those debts
are yours to pay
those new shoes
are yours to fill
why do you still
try and make thE case
try to infiltrate my space
leave the marks
for me to trace
Like I- know
I voluntarily entered this vindictive mind race
but you see,
i can’t be replaced
my voice is the only place
you once practically erased
and i solemnly swear
i’m up to no good
when i was solomonly squared
look where you stood
yea, im grown now so its a little different
i can own it now
yea, i can admit it
your home now
so go and get your distance
your alone now
so go get your assistants
i’m on my own now
I don’t gotta deal with your belligerence
and i’ve been silent for some time now
so here’s my deliverance:
three fears
three tears
three breaks
until i hit the threshold
until my hands started to shake
between two different states
had a few indifferent mates
yea, they all just raised the stakes
made me realize
just how much my heart ached
just how much I have left to create..
then at least for a glimpse this time
i was sent a telescope
from the angels in mind
to magnify a moment
when hands first intertwine
where there is unconditional love
oh, where it’s kind
it’s said:
“i love you for all that you are
all that you will or won’t be
don’t need those orange butterflies
to come protect thee
i can hold the space for your duality
your needs won’t cause our fatality”
so i’m leaving what’s left between us
i’m reaching out for this inner freeness
embracing that
i've never been that heterogeneous
yeah i’m just a fetus
one that understands its weakness
searching for a new kind of sweetness
a way of living-
one that feels
complete with its own uniqueness
